How to survive Mordor season

As Troy Bolton would say, we're all in this together

Is that time of the year again. The time when clocks go back (sadly not in a Doctor Who kinda way), when you wake up and it’s raining as if it was the end of the world and it gets dark before you finish at work. It’s also the time of the year when people seriously ask me: Why did you leave Spain to come to Scotland? To come to…THIS? *thunder groans in the distance* ⚡

I understand…it’s hard to explain how much you love living in Scotland when you are about to be slapped in the face with a chippy container flying away in the wind. Or when your feet are completely soaked because you just discovered, in what can only be called the most perfect timing, that you have a massive crack on the sole of your Converse. The only other Spanish person in my office* once referred to this weather as Mordor season and I’ve never heard a more accurate branding. So, here’s my guide to survive the long, dark, and cold months ahead… Put the kettle on…

*2024 update: this person has now quit Scotland. I rest my case, your honour.

Embrace the season

This is the main thing, isn’t it? It’s going to sound very “wellness holistic studio in Los Angeles with Gwyneth Paltrow as an investor” but honour the season and honour what it makes you feel (unless it makes you feel like jumping out of a window, in that case, honour a therapist plz). After all, we are animals and we should be in sync with Earth’s seasons. Don’t try and pretend that the weather and the 30 minutes of light per day don’t affect you, and don’t try to ignore them either, because then you’ll be lying miserable! Embrace this shithole we temporarily find ourselves in and decorate it with stickers, candles, and fairy lights to make it better. And don’t forget your vitamin D.

‘Tis the season…to get a bit fat

What are the vegetables and fruits of the season? Hot chocolate and garlic bread if you ask me. You might have noticed that the strawberries you buy this time of the year taste like seasonal depression, so time to start paying more attention to local produce. Cook rich foods with the winter delicacies: broccoli, brussels sprouts, butternut squash, pumpkin, kale, leeks (I LOVE leek), parsnips... Platos de cuchara, my mom would say (spoon dishes). Become a true expert in soups and eat them with my ultimate perfect pairing for it: garlic bread baguette. You can find them very cheap in the supermarket. Dip the shiz out of that garlic bread in your soup and I assure you the world will become a better place for a bit.

You can also get really into your favourite hot drinks (as long as it’s not Pumpkin Spice Latte) and prepare them in a cute coffee thermo so you can sip them on your way to work and save some money. My favourites? Mocha or cappuccino with hazelnut syrup and the one true king of hot chocolates: the Spanish chocolate Valor. The thick one, the one you can enjoy with churros. The absolute best thing about winter in Spain. In Edinburgh and Glasgow, I’ve only been able to find it at Lupe Pintos, so if you are near give it a try and send me a thank you note after I’ve changed your life forever.

Don’t feel bad for staying in!

Ok, this one is important. The weather is horrible, so why should you force yourself to go out, even if it’s the weekend? Don’t torture yourself by thinking you should make the best of the weekend. Maybe you had a rough week at work and just want to stay home really warm, mending socks, watching your comfort TV show, or starting a new one. There is nothing wrong with it! We don’t have to tick boxes every time we have some time off, even if everyone else on social media looks like they are having the time of their lives. You are you, in all your unique and individual glory. And if you want to be a little bear and hibernate, that’s ok too. Take a nap, lil pumpkin. If you still feel the need for socializing though, you can always organise cool soirées at home like potluck dinners and board games night.

pugloulou

A post shared by @pugloulou

Dress for the weather. Seriously.

In this country, you are destined for a very sad time if you don’t own a raincoat and a good pair of boots. I learned this the hard way. Oppenheimer might have said “Now I Am Become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds” but here is more “Now I Am Become Edinburgh Cobblestones, the Destroyer of Soles”. I walk a lot, which means I always end up destroying the soles of my shoes - and when it rained it used to take me by surprise, and I would always get my feet soaked. But that’s what happens when you don’t give up on your beloved boots until they look as if they were worn by a diseased Victorian child. So, take your time finding boots and a raincoat that will really keep you dry and warm. They must fit your style, otherwise, you will never wear them, and we are back to square one! Become a fluffy human: soft scarfs, knitted balaclavas, waterproof crossbody bags, jumpers (jumpers!!) dresses with tights… Don’t give a flying turd about if you look cool or not to others, because you know what’s really cool? TO BE WARM.

Take up a grandma hobby

More time at home means more time to do your own thing. Knitting, baking, candles, polymer clay earrings, air clay, mending clothes, painting…or simply sitting in your ass reading a good book. If you are not a Kindle girlie, go to your local charity shop and browse through the book section to find your next read. Last Saturday I found The Sucess Myth, by

Emma Gannon

for £3. The book was released in May this year so imagine how happy I was when I spotted it! My manifestation powers have reached a new level, guys. I am also very keen to get into a good fiction book, I miss getting lost in a story, and it feels like the perfect afternoon plan. Or am I just getting old?

The best thing about this weather is that it will be over…someday soon. Although to retain my right to reside in the UK I must keep complaining about the weather, on the inside, I’ll just be a little sleepy fluffy ball with my belly full of hot chocolate. 😊

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